


why liddat one

by ffroyo



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Singaporean hawker centre au, Singlish usage, ninja! Jiyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 15:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16684651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffroyo/pseuds/ffroyo
Summary: sechskies in a Singaporean hawker centre au, in singlishcomplete crack ahead, zero plot, readers are warned





	why liddat one

**Author's Note:**

> this is the worst thing I've written and I MUST SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD

It was a Sunday afternoon when Jaeduck and Suwon arrived at their usual kopitiam[1] for their weekly kopi session with their friends.

 

'Eh where Jaijin sia' Suwon grumbled as he fanned himself with his hands.

 

'Wait ah, he not replying leh' Jaeduck said as he stared at his phone. 'Oh GG[2] I never on my data, paiseh[3] paiseh. He at the table near the chicken rice stall.'

 

'Walau today so sibei[4] hot you wear long sleeve for what?' Jaijin, the first to arrive and sitting there comfortably in a tank top and a handheld electric fan.

 

'Aiyah, you know Jaeduck love his long sleeves a lot one what' Suwon gestured at Jaeduck's long sleeved, collared shirt, completely unsuitable for Singapore's bloody hot weather. Jaeduck could only grin sheepishly and shrug.

 

'So…I see Jiwon late again ah?' Suwon gazed around the table. 'Sunghoon leh? He usually not late one leh.'

 

At the mention of Sunghoon, he strolled up to the table in a white cap, white tshirt, white pants and white slides, complete with a sparkling necklace.

 

“Bros!! Yall so early man!!" Sunghoon practically shouted as he sat down.

 

“Simi[5] is this outfit… wearing white to lim kopi[6]…confirm splash and GG liao”' Suwon took a look at Sunghoon’s blindingly white outfit, shielding his eyes almost as if Sunghoon’s outfit was the sun.

 

“Hello, this is fash-sun, okay?!” Sunghoon dramatically swept his hands down his outfit.

 

“Oh right! Is that necklace from channel? The cap also hor?” Jaeduck tried to praise Sunghoon’s outfit.

 

“Eh eh-cu-se me, it’s Chanel, ok, not channel.” Sunghoon corrected Jaeduck’s terrible pronunciation of his beloved French brand.

 

‘Jiwon still not here? What time already sia?!” Jaijin glanced at his watch and noticed Jiwon has already been late for 15 minutes. “He really last warning.”

 

“I thought we always tell him the time is 30 min earlier than normal? So he can be on time?” Jaeduck recalled their previous agreement in a bid to get Jiwon to be punctual.

 

“That strategy CMI[7] liao, he oredi know le. What to do?”

 

The drinks stall seller popped up and asked “Lai[8]? What drinks?”

 

“Oh soli[9] soli auntie, wait a bit, still waiting for someone,” Jaeduck waved off the drinks seller. 

 

5 minutes later, Jiwon confidently walked up to the table, plopped down and asked cheerfully “So, what yall getting? The usual orders ah?”

 

“Win liao lor, you late for 20mins still never say sorry.” Jaijin glared at Jiwon. “It’s daaaaaaamn hot waiting for you ok.”

 

“Aiyah paiseh lah, I was-uhhhhh“ Jiwon paused to think of an excuse.

 

“We know you drove here ok, so train breakdown cannot use as excuse liao hor” Jaeduck gleefully pointed out.

 

“I was gonna say I left house late hor. I’m very honest one ok. You know I always late one please, just come a bit later lah.” 

 

“We need come earlier to chope[10] table please! If not sit where, your house ah?” Jaijin almost smacked the table in frustration, “This hawker centre very popz[11] one hor, especially on Saturdays.”

 

“Ah ok fine, today’s drinks on me then.” Jiwon begrudgingly conceded to treat his friends to end their complaining.

 

At that moment, the drinks seller auntie showed up and asked for their orders again. “Ah hendsum[12], order lai?”

 

Jiwon started off the orders “1 kopi c peng siew dai, 1 kopi gau, 1 teh c kosong peng, 1 kopi peng gar dai, and 1 kopi o kosong peng[13]”

 

“Wait wait wait, I want change order. Auntie, no teh c kosong peng, I want lime juice.” Jaeduck piped up.

 

“Ah me too, no kopi o kosong peng, just give me milo dinosaur[14].” Suwon added on.

 

“Oi yall damn GL[15] ok, just now I ask if the usual no one say anything. Then now I look damn bodoh.”

 

“Just now distracted what! Talking about you always late.” Jaeduck shot back.

 

“Aiyah whatever lah. Anyway, have yall heard the news? Gahmen[16] gonna increase GST leh” Jiwon quickly brushed off the topic of his lateness again.

 

“Yah I just read it. Lim peh ka li kong[17] liao, gahmen just want to suck our money dry lah.”

 

“Yah lor, also want to increase transport prices and COE[18]. Prease lah, can they fix the train first. Anyhow also can breakdown one leh. That day rain a bit then delay sia, damn CB[19]”.

 

“The car becoming only those very high SES[20] one can buy, haiyah.”

 

The topic of government complaints, a favourite of the uncles, quickly distracted them from Jiwon’s constant tardiness.

 

A lull in the conservation suddenly reminded Jiwon of a photo he saw on Instagram days before. “Suwon, last Sat you met Jiyong right, damn bojio[21] leh you.”

 

“Uhhhh he said he just wanted it to be 2 of us leh, what to do? I think he damn shag[22] from taking care of his children.”

 

An awkward silence fell over the group. Just then, the drinks arrived in perfect timing.

 

“1 kopi c peng siew dai, 1 kopi, 1 lime juice, 1 kopi peng gar dai, and 1 kopi o kosong peng” The drinks auntie said as she set down the drinks.

 

“Er Auntie, my drink is kopi gau leh” Jaijin reminded her.

 

“And auntie, my drink is milo dinosaur sia, not kopi o kosong peng. I change leh remember?”

 

"Ya, ya, auntie, the orders wrong leh." The others quickly backed up their friends. 

 

“Walau you all damn luoso[23] leh. So long the orders make my life so hard, haiyo.” The auntie tsked as she took away the wrong orders.

 

-

[1] Food centre

[2] ‘Good Game’, gamer slang used in singlish to mean ‘crap/shit/a demise’

[3] Sorry

[4] Very

[5] What

[6] Drink coffee

[7] Cannot make it

[8] Pronunciation of 来, Chinese word meaning ‘come’

[9] Sorry

[10] Reserve

[11] Popular

[12] Handsome

[13] Iced coffee with milk and less sugar, Thick coffee, Iced tea with milk. Iced coffe extra sweet, Iced black coffee

[14] Iced milo with a scoop of milo powder on top

[15] Guai Lan, meaning annoying

[16] Government

[17] Directly translates to “My father tell you” but ‘lim peh’ in slang refers to oneself

[18] Certificate needed to buy a car in Singapore

[19] Singlish curse word

[20] Social economic status

[21] Never invite

[22] Tired

[23] Chinese for troublesome


End file.
